me

I have a lot to be angry about… but in the same hand I have a lot to be thankful for. I’m sure the majority of people would agree with me that life, at times is unfair, relentless, brutal, & unkind. And for the most part I’ve battled back thinking that I could get the upper hand on life.  I’ve used weapons like frustration, resentment, hate, selfishness and lust.  The one thing I never did was regret… as much as I’ve always wanted, wished and desired for a life I dreamed of, I never regretted any of my actions.  I did what did, did what I thought was best for me, sometimes I did what people wanted me to do, simply enough I was doing me.  Somehow I ended up here, with people around me who love me, who support and care for me.   The ironic thing is that it’s not about the things I did that was immoral and ended up in a situation that in some people’s eyes felt it was undeserving.  It was countless reminder that there was this kindness, this grace that was always being presented to me.  I have never believed in karma… that one good or bad deed deserves a same and/or equal reward or punishment, not by law but by spirit.  Because if that was the case, then I guess this would be different message. “To each his own.” People will find truth in anything, well anything worth believing.  This not a debate on what is wrong or right, this is simply a self debate, an internal battle, a life long struggle on doing what you feel is wrong or right. The rest? I guess the rest will take care of itself.  I know as long as I am moving, whether forward or backwards, I know I’m going in the right direction…

…or I’ll soon figure it out.

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

-Charles Swindoll.

-ml